


Every Little Helps

by electrictoes



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Developing Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-10
Updated: 2010-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28936506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electrictoes/pseuds/electrictoes
Summary: "I'm not breaking up with you in Tesco."
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Kudos: 4





	Every Little Helps

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to livejournal

**Title:** Every Little Helps  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Jack/Ianto  
**Rating:** PG-13, to be on the safe side.  
**Spoilers:** None past s2.  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  
**Summary:** "I'm not breaking up with you in Tesco."  
**Note(s):** Thank you to [](https://pinkfairy727.livejournal.com/profile)[**pinkfairy727**](https://pinkfairy727.livejournal.com/) , [](https://tazza-di-jo.livejournal.com/profile)[**tazza_di_jo**](https://tazza-di-jo.livejournal.com/) , [](https://ally-p-x.livejournal.com/profile)[**ally_p_x**](https://ally-p-x.livejournal.com/) , & [](https://captains-girl.livejournal.com/profile)[**captains_girl**](https://captains-girl.livejournal.com/) for the help & the betas. Title is from the Tesco tagline, as David Tennant will tell you [here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bjVsbCQ0cE).  


Jack sighed and leaned forward on the trolley he was pushing. “I just think... whatever it is that’s bothering you, we should talk about it.”

Ianto threw a box of cereal into the trolley. “And I’m just saying I don’t think we should have this conversation now.”

“Why not?” Jack asked, pulling the trolley to a halt.

“Because,” Ianto said exasperatedly, “I don’t want to talk about it here.”

Jack had been pushing Ianto to tell him what was bothering him since they’d left the Hub half an hour before, and it didn’t seem like he was going to take no for an answer.

“If something’s up, then you should just say it.”

“I don’t want to say it now, Jack!” Ianto shouted, stopping at the end of the aisle. “I’m not going to do this now,” he hissed, realising that people around them had stopped too, and were staring. “I’m not breaking up with you in Tesco.”

“Not breaking...” Jack let the trolley go. It moved forward a little and then stopped of its own accord halfway between the two of them. “What? You’re breaking up with me?”

“No,” Ianto sighed, running a hand through his hair. “No, I’m not breaking up with you...” He sighed. “I just...” He walked forward and took hold of the trolley. “Come on. We’ll talk about it later.”

Ianto turned the trolley and moved around the corner, stopping when he noticed Jack wasn’t following him. He abandoned the trolley and walked back. There were a few other customers hovering, trying to look like they weren’t being nosy and he sighed, walking towards Jack, who still hadn’t moved. “Jack.”

“If you’re going to break up with me, Ianto, why wait until we get home?” Jack asked, and the words sounded odd to Ianto’s ears. Jack talking about break ups and home and sounding hurt. Ianto had never thought any of this meant as much to him as it had to Ianto and it jarred with him.

“I’m not going to break up with you, Jack.”

Jack didn’t look convinced and Ianto reached out for his hand, tugging him forward. “We just need to...” Ianto shrugged. “Later.”

“Ianto,” Jack frowned, “What is it?”

Ianto shook his head. “Not here, Jack. Please.”

Jack leaned forward for a kiss. Ianto supposed it was meant to be a reassurance, but he ducked away. He still wasn’t wholly comfortable with public displays of affection, still wasn’t quite used to being with a man. He didn’t really think of it in those terms most of the time, because it was _Jack_ , and all the other rules went out of the window with him, but sometimes it caught him off guard and he couldn’t deal with being judged for his sexuality, not yet, not even by strangers.

Jack followed him back to their trolley and they finished their shopping in silence. Jack looked miserable, and Ianto couldn’t blame him; he needed to learn to keep his mouth shut. He hadn’t wanted to say anything until they got home.

The queue at the checkout was long and Ianto knew Jack would get bored long before they reached the front, but he didn’t want to send him back to the car; not when he’d already upset him once. He glanced around them before slipping his hand into Jack’s.

Jack looked up, surprised. “You okay?”

Ianto nodded. “Sorry. I didn’t want to... until we got home...”

“I was pushing you. I need to learn to be patient.”

“That’s likely,” Ianto said, with a half-hearted smile.

“I have done something though, haven’t I?” Jack said, his voice quiet, his eyes fixed to Ianto’s. “That’s what all this is about. But whatever it is, I...”

Ianto sighed. The conversation would be better off waiting until they got home, but Jack wanted it now and it looked as though they wouldn’t be getting home for at least another hour. “You’re always there,” he said, eventually.

“What?” Jack blinked, confusion obvious on his face.

“We work together and if I don’t stay overnight you come home with me. We’re doing the shopping together. On Sundays we go out places... I see you all the time.”

“Is that what’s bothering you? You want some time alone?” Jack’s eyebrows had knitted together in his confusion. “You could’ve just said.”

“No,” Ianto told him. “It’s not that.”

“Then what?”

The queue moved forward a little and Ianto pulled his hand away to move the trolley forward.

“Ianto?” Jack pressed when they stopped.

“We’re _always_ together and when we’re not together we’re texting each other or we’re on the phone or on the comms and you’re still so oblivious, Jack.”

“I’m not following.”

Ianto scoffed. “Well, you wouldn’t.” He sighed at the look on Jack’s face. “I’m sorry, it’s just... you have no idea how I feel, and I have no chance of figuring out how you feel.”

Jack frowned. “You know how I feel.”

“No,” Ianto told him. “No, I don’t. Every time I think I’ve figured it out, you go and snog a witness or dance with Gwen and then I think I’ve worked it out again, but then you look at me like you can’t see anything else and I’m back to square one.”

“I only kissed that witness because-” Jack started to protest, but trailed off when he spotted Ianto’s expression.

“It’s not about the witness, Jack,” Ianto told him, honestly. He moved the trolley forward a little further, but his eyes were fixed to Jack. “It’snot about you flirting with anything that moves and it’s not about that bloke I _know_ you shagged last week and it’s not even about Gwen and how she says jump and even though you refuse to say how high, your eyes light up like she’s completely magic,” Ianto let out a breath. “It’s about how you never tell me what you feel. I don’t want some big declaration, but I’d like to know where I stand before it’s too late.”

Jack stared at him, but said nothing. The queue moved again and, as they reached the checkout, Ianto began to unload the trolley while Jack stared at him in silence. He had nearly emptied out all of their shopping by the time Jack spoke.

“I didn’t sleep with that guy last week,” he said, his voice quiet.

Ianto silently seethed and turned to look at Jack. “I don’t want to have this conversation right now.”

“Ianto-”

Ianto silenced Jack with a look and Jack, to his credit it, pushed no more. He helped Ianto pack up their shopping once they’d paid andwalked to the SUV with him in an uncomfortable silence.They were in the car and pulling out of the car park before Jack said a word.

“What did you mean,” he asked, “before it’s too late?”

Ianto stared out the window, pointedly not looking at Jack. “You don’t want me to answer that.”

“Tell me,” Jack told him, his voice quiet and reassuringly soft. “Talk me through what’s going on. I want to hear it.”

Ianto was never going to figure Jack out, he knew that. He slowly turned to look over at his lover. “I... I meant,” he swallowed. “Before... before it’ll hurt too much to let you go. Before I fall in love with you.”

“Oh,” Jack said, like it wasn’t the answer he had expected. Ianto turned back to the window; he had known mentioning love would be too much for Jack to deal with, but he had asked.

“When did you...” Jack trailed off, before trying again. “When did you realise that... you might be getting close to... to falling in love?”

“At Gwen’s wedding,” Ianto told him, there was no point lying, not now that it was out in the open. “You were dancing with her and I...”

“You were jealous,” Jack said, not bothering to conceal his smile.

Ianto shrugged. “Mm.”

“You don’t have to be,” Jack said. “I don’t want Gwen.”

Ianto didn’t know what to say to that and so they sat in silence a little longer, Jack guiding the car through the slow moving traffic.

“So, you were jealous of Gwen and that’s when you realised?”

Ianto shrugged. “I felt... I felt like she didn’t have,” he hesitated, “like she didn’t have the right to be... like you’re _mine_ , and I know that you’re not anyone’s and that you don’t want to be tied down but I felt like-”

Jack raised his hand to cut Ianto off mid-flow. Ianto frowned, but Jack just dropped his hand and rested it on Ianto’s thigh. “I am yours, you can feel like that.”

“I...” Ianto wasn’t sure what to say. He wasn’t quite sure he believed Jack, but he didn’t want to push it. He leaned back in his chair and let his hand creep forward, resting over Jack’s.

“I feel like you’re mine,” Jack said, “if that helps.”

It did, but Ianto wasn’t going to tell him that.

Jack drummed the fingers of his free hand on the steering wheel and moved the car forward a few more inches. “I know I’m not easy to put up with,” he said. Ianto didn’t move his head; he didn’t want to see Jack’s expression, just in case he didn’t look as sincere as he sounded. “But I am yours. And I know that you know that one day I’ll be someone else’s, but right now I’m with you, Ianto, and I don’t want anyone else.”

“Until the Doctor shows up,” Ianto muttered, a little more bitterly than he had intended.

“No,” Jack said sharply. He tugged his hand away and returned it to the steering wheel. “I want _you_. And yeah, sometimes the Doctor’s going to show up and need me for something; immortal men aren’t easy to come by, sometimes he needs help-”

“Needs to use you, you mean.”

“We’re not getting into that, Ianto.” Jack snapped. He sighed. “There are going to be times that I have to leave, but I promise to come back... and that’s the best I can give you.”

The traffic moved forward and Jack took the car with it.

“I know that’s not enough,” he said, his voice softer now. “But I’m giving you what I can.”

“I know,” Ianto told him. “I don’t want more.”

“Do you feel like you know where you stand now?” Jack asked.

“Yeah,” Ianto told him. If Jack was being honest, and it sounded like he was, then Ianto did.

“Good.”

There was silence for a few minutes. The car crept forward another three foot before Jack turned back to Ianto. “Want to return the favour, then?”

“What?”

“You’re not exactly an open book, Ianto.” Jack said, his hand coming back Ianto’s thigh. “You’ve never told me what you feel.”

“I thought it was obvious.”

Jack laughed. “What? Obvious? Ianto, any time we get close to talking about how we feel you change the subject.”

Ianto sat up a little, lacing his finger through Jack’s. “I didn’t think feelings were something you wanted to discuss.”

“Because I’m not a girl?” Jack asked, an eyebrow cocked. “Or because I’m me?”

Ianto shrugged. “Both.”

Jack laughed again. “So?”

“So?”

“Want to fill me in?” Jack was smiling at him, but there was something cautious about it. “All I know is that you think I’m hot.” He paused. “And that you might be close to falling in love with me, and you don’t want me to shag Gwen or anyone else.” He grinned at Ianto. “And I haven’t, for the record. Not even that guy last week.”

“Mm,” Ianto said. “That’s probably right.” He kicked his feet a little, nervous. “I’m probably already in love with you, but I try not to think about it,” Ianto said honestly.

Jack turned his eyes back to the road. He kept their fingers intertwined until he needed both hands for driving. Ianto watched him, trying to figure out what he was thinking. Jack didn’t turn back to him until they got caught at a set of traffic lights ten minutes later.

“Is it that scary?” Jack asked.

“What?”

“The thought of being in love with me.”

Ianto gave a small, hollow laugh. “You’re joking, right?”

Jack raised an eyebrow but didn’t speak. The lights changed amber and Jack looked away until traffic began to move again. It gave Ianto enough time to plan out his next words.

“It’s terrifying, Jack,” he said quietly. “You have no idea how scary being in love with you is going to be for me.”

“I didn’t think I was that difficult to love. People don’t generally have a problem with it.”

“Oh, you’re _easy_ to love Jack. But loving someone and being in love with them, that’s the difference. Loving you how Gwen loves you, how Owen and Tosh loved you, that wasn’t scary, that’s just you, but this...”

“What?”

“It’s just harder. I can’t explain it. I’ve barely got my head around being _with_ a man, never mind being in love with one.”

Jack nodded. “Okay.”

“What?” Ianto frowned at him.

“Just okay. I get it Ianto, you need time to figure it all out. You know how I feel now, and I’ve got an idea what you’re thinking, and when it’s all figured out you can let me know.”

“Jack-”

“We’re home,” Jack said, silencing him as he pulled the car into Ianto’s driveway.

Home. And that was the heart of it really, because however confused Ianto was feeling, Jack had it all figured out just fine. Jack had worked out long before Ianto had that this was home and they were a something, a thing, not just Jack and Ianto shagging like the world was ending, but actually a thing, like A Couple. While Ianto had been trying to find his place in Jack’s world, and spent all of his time thinking that this was just a passing fancy for Jack, Jack had been thinking that this was home, that he was Ianto’s and that they were a something.


End file.
